by Leela Ramdeen, Chair, CCSJ and Director, CREDI
The world is round so that friendship may encircle it (Pierre Teilhard de Chardin).
On April 27, 2011, the UN declared July 30 as the International Day of Friendship (IDF), recognising “the relevance and importance of friendship as a noble and valuable sentiment in the lives of human beings around the world”. In a world plagued by the negative effects of individualism, many yearn for the love and solidarity that friendship can bring.
In last year’s message on IDF, Secretary General of the UN, Ban Ki Moon, said: “In families and communities, friendship is the bond that unites different interests for common goals. Within countries, dialogue and understanding promote progress. Globally, friendly personal connections among individuals can generate momentum toward achieving peace, development and human rights for all. And amicable relations among countries provide a solid basis for peace, prosperity and progress.
“But friendship is much more than a means to a better future, it is an end in itself – an invaluable source of joy and happiness. On this International Day of Friendship, let us cultivate warm ties for their own sake. The positive impact on our world will naturally follow.”
Friendship is a gift from God. Our Scriptures remind us of our greatest friend – Jesus: “This is my commandment: love one another, as I have loved you. A man can have no greater love than to lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends, if you do what I command you…I call you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have learnt from my Father. You did not choose me, no, I chose you…” (John 15:12-16).
To strengthen our friendship with Christ we must strive to follow His Commandments – remembering that it is only by His grace that we remain in His love. He created us as social beings to be in relationship with others. It is imperative, therefore, that we develop right relationships with our neighbours and with all His Creation.
During this Year of Faith, we must remind ourselves of the teachings in our Catechism where there are many references to “friendship” e.g.: “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them… God established him in his friendship” (CCC 355).
“The principle of solidarity, also articulated in terms of “friendship” or “social charity”, is a direct demand of human and Christian brotherhood” (CCC 1939).
“…friendship represents a great good for all. It leads to spiritual communion” (CCC 2347).
“God shows forth his almighty power by converting us from our sins and restoring us to his friendship by grace” (CCC 277).
How many of you remember your parents saying to you, “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are” or “Friends will take you, but they won’t bring you back” or “Don’t let ‘bad house’ call you”?
In Proverbs we read: “There are friends who lead one to ruin, others are closer than a brother” (18:24). And in Sirach 6:14-17, we read about the value of a faithful friend: “A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure. There is nothing so precious as a faithful friend, no sum can balance his worth. A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy, and those who fear the Lord will find him.”
Brother Andre Marie has written an interesting paper entitled, Friends forever: St Augustine, Friendship, and Catholic Evangelism, in which he said, inter alia: “friendship itself, lived according to the Christian ideal, is an Evangelical tool, because it helps the Church in her work of saving souls…By friendship, God sanctifies you…and, by friendship, God uses you to sanctify others – that is why it is a ‘means to evangelising our upside-down culture’.”
The challenge for us is to ensure that we stand firmly rooted in our faith so that we do not allow those “friends” who are influenced by moral relativism, etc. to draw us into that web. We should be the ones striving to mould friends/society to reflect Gospel values.
One of my school friends from Holy Faith Convent (HFC), Couva, is visiting from Vancouver. Some of us have remained friends since our HFC days. I say to you as Polonius said to his son, Laertes, in Hamlet: “Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel.”
Lord, show us the way to true friendship in our families, communities, workplaces, nation and world. Let our friendship inspire us to build the civilisation of love.
