A child is not an accessory 

by Leela Ramdeen, Chair, CCSJ and Director, CREDI 

Today is both Father’s Day and World Elder Abuse Awareness Day. One of the greatest gifts that God gave to humankind is FATHERS. 

I shall miss the Father’s Day party for my father who will be 89 years old in July. He is currently in London with all my siblings, his ten grandchildren and 14 great-grandchildren. I thank my father for the tremendous impact he continues to have on my well-being and development. It’s my birthday tomorrow – say a prayer for me. 

Today we celebrate the lives and contributions of the many excellent fathers who are role models and mentors, who fill their families’ lives with love, care, and guidance, striving to meet their moral, spiritual, emotional, social, physical, financial, and other needs. We urge those who are fathers, and our boys and men who would be fathers, to recognise the important role that they must play in the lives of their wives/partners/children. 

Sadly, in our society there are too many homes with absentee fathers, or as the Single Fathers Association of T&T (SFA) states, homes where children have been “forcibly estranged from their fathers”. Rondell Feeles, President of SFA, constantly calls for fathers to become more involved in the lives of their children to curb criminal conduct among youth. He rightly says: “We as parents must take responsibility for our shortcomings and now make a conscious effort on taking the time to make a personal and direct contribution to the enrichment of our children’s lives.” 

Responsible parenthood/fatherhood must be nurtured in our homes, schools, parishes, through parenting classes, etc. A child is not an accessory to dress up in designer clothes and parade among one’s friends as a badge of honour – to show one is a ‘man’ and can make children. 

Remember the words of Mother Teresa: “What can you do to promote world peace? Gohomeand loveyourfamily.”Many of our fathers are “fathering” children without having had the opportunity of having been “fathered” themselves. In a society where violence now seems to be embedded in the psyche of many, domestic violence is rampant. Many of our fathers – in and out of relationships – need professional help, e.g. to deal with conflict without resorting to domestic violence. 
 
I call on children everywhere to do as the fifth commandment says and honour your father and mother. Play your part in strengthening your family’s life, in developing right relationships within and outside of your homes. St John Paul II reminded us that: “As the family goes, so goes the nationandsogoesthe whole world in which we live.” 

Today, also, as we raise awareness of elder abuse, the UN rightly reminds us that elder abuse is “a global social issue which affects the health and human rights of millions of older persons around the world, and an issue which deserves the attention of the international community.” As UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon said: “We owe it to older persons and societies at large to fight ageism in all its forms and enhance the dignity and human rights of older persons everywhere.” 

We in T&T need to develop our awareness of this issue. Elder abuseincludes:financial abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse and neglect – and can take place even with trusted caregivers. Because of global demographic changes, it is estimated that there will be 1.2 billion persons above the age of 60 by 2025 and 2 billion by 2050, exceeding the number of younger people. “Research has shown that elder abuse, neglect, violence, and exploitation are some of the biggest issues facing senior citizens around the world. World Health Organisation data suggests that 4 to 6 per cent of elderly suffer from some form of abuse, a large percentage of which goes unreported.” (Visit http://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/un/elder-abuse-awareness-day). 

Older persons play an important role in their families, communities and societies. Ageing is a development issue. In an age of utilitarianism, the challenge is to create a culture of life so that we recognise the dignity of each person and value people for who they are and not for what they can do. Parishes, schools, Girl Guides, etc. can do much to identify/befriend elderly persons in our communities/homes for the elderly and encourage inter-generational relationships to ensure that all God’s people are respected and can contribute to building our nation. 

Are the fundamental human rights of the elderly being addressed in the implementation of T&T’s National Policy on Ageing? Do we have the necessary infrastructure to ensure that the well-being of our elderly citizens is being addressed? 

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