by Leela Ramdeen, Chair, CCSJ and Director, CREDI
CCSJ hopes that each parish will, in whatever way possible, observe the 20th Anniversary of the International Year of the Family and International Family Day on May 15.
On the day before this international observance, Wednesday May 14, CCSJ has organised a seminar at Santa Rosa Parish Hall, Arima. You are invited to join us from 7 to 8:30 p.m. as we focus on the theme: Promoting and Protecting Family Life.
In the face of the many challenges that our families face, each of us must commit to become a sower of justice for our families. Our Church teaches that the family is the basic unit of society – the domestic Church.
One of the challenges parents face is modelling morals and values that will help children to emulate these. Another challenge is learning how to discipline one’s child without having to resort to corporal punishment. On my return from delivering some lectures in London, I was approached by a number of persons about my views about the flogging of the 12-year-old girl by her mother because the child had posted inappropriate photos on Facebook.
If one analyses this case, it is clear that there are a number of family/societal issues that must be addressed if we are to promote effective family life. In the face of the comments made by many that they were flogged in their childhood and are not worse off today because of this, my personal view on this issue is that corporal punishment will not help us to build a civilisation of love.
We will not promote Christian morals and values or authentic integral human development by the use of “force”. Let us work to create values-driven homes, schools, workplaces and communities.
Let us find some other way of building our children’s character and enabling them to exercise free will responsibly. My litmus test is: “What would Jesus do?” He said: “Suffer the little children to come unto me.” If we listen to Him, we would channel our energies by urging our Government to put systems in place to support and protect family life.
When that mother cried out for help, what support systems/intervention strategies were in place to support her? When the young child began to show signs of indiscipline, how did her school/family/neighbours etc. respond? How are we Catholics responding to the many individuals/families in our parishes who are crying out for help? How many of our parishes and schools are promoting the Family Life Commission’s Common Sense Parenting Programme? What are we doing to encourage fathers to play a more supportive role in their children’s lives?
Read Gregory Popcak’s “Ten Reasons I Can’t Spank – A Catholic Counsellor’s Critical Examination of Corporal Punishment” www.exceptionalmarriages.com &www.stophitting.com/index.php?page=10reasons
He is a Catholic, psychotherapist, father of two, and author on marriage and family issues. Like him, I believe that there are “irreconcilable differences between Catholicism and corporal punishment.”
Inter alia, he says: “There is an important distinction to be made between discipline and punishment. Jesus’ own ministry favoured discipline over punishment… Discipline is less concerned with teaching compliance with the law than it is with teaching how to have deeper, more respectful and loving relationships. Discipline recognises that Love does no wrong to a neighbour, therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law. (Rom. 13:10). Discipline recognises that violence is not a good teaching tool… The Holy Father refers to parents’ ‘mission as educators’ (The Gospel of Life). If we are educators, we must use the tools the best educators use. We must first use the tools the Holy Father himself enumerates, such as, ‘word and example…cordial openness, dialogue. . .’ (The Gospel of Life). These are the tools of choice. Corporal punishment is curiously absent… Spanking does not pass St Bernard’s test: The violence which is at the core of spanking makes it inherently offensive to the dignity of the human person.”
As far as conscience formation is concerned, he says: “Our only instruments in the domain of conscience must be reason, God’s grace, human kindness and love.”
In conclusion, he says: “To renounce corporal punishment is a ‘conversion’; it is to begin the difficult journey which consists in ‘putting new wine in new skins.’ You will not be alone. The Wisdom, Grace and Love of the Holy Trinity will guide you. Should you decide to continue spanking, you ought to prepare a defense to Christ’s pronouncement of love: ‘What you do to the least of these, you do to Me.’”
Let us nurture in our youths qualities of moral goodness and excellence – without resorting to ‘licks’.
