Being merciful to ourselves 

by Leela Ramdeen, Chair, CCSJ and Director, CREDI 

I share with you below an extract from my presentation on the theme: Be merciful to ourselves.(See CCSJ’s website). 

God is a God of mercy. We are all here because of His grace: “God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son so that everyone who believes in him may not be lost but may have eternal life” (John 3:16). 
As Pope Francis said: “The Lord has redeemed all of us, all of us, with the Blood of Christ, all of us, not just Catholics. Everyone!” Christ’s death and resurrection show how much mercy God has for us. “He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy” (Titus 3:5).  

Jesus commands us to love our neighbour as we love ourselves (Mk 12:31 & see John 13:34) and to be merciful as our Father in heaven is merciful (Lk 6:36). Do we love ourselves? Are we truly aware of our Father’s mercy? 
Being merciful to ourselves means being faithful disciples of Jesus Christ so that we can become who we really are – children of God. 

To be merciful to ourselves, we need to have a clear understanding of God’s mercy. In a world of selfishness, greed, individualism, moral relativism; in a world in which attempts are being made to push God off the public stage and into the private realm, it is little wonder that some of us forget what God’s mercy looks like. In the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:7), Jesus said: “Happy the merciful; they shall have mercy shown them”. 

Often we think about being merciful to others and to our environment/Creation. However, we must remember that WE are also God’s creation – each of us is unique – made in His image and likeness. We cannot be truly merciful to others/our environment unless we are merciful to ourselves; unless we allow God’s mercy to flow freely through us… Read the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) and also the Prodigal Son/The merciful Father (Luke 15:11-32). 

We need God’s mercy to survive in this world. “Mercy is like oxygen…You can’t extend it to others without first being merciful to yourself. None of those resolutions, none of your fondest wishes for this year to be different stand a chance unless and until you live mercy inside your own skin. That fear of being forever stuck? It is fuelled by your unwillingness to meet the merciful Jesus and surrender.” (Elizabeth Foss). 

In one of his homilies, St John Chrysostom said: “When we pray to God saying, ‘Lord have mercy upon me,’ let us say it to ourselves, and have mercy upon ourselves. We are the arbiters of God having mercy upon us. This grace he has bestowed upon us. If we do things worthy of mercy, worthy of His loving-kindness towards us, God will have mercy upon us. But if we have not mercy on ourselves, who will spare us? Have mercy on thy neighbour and thou shalt find mercy of God Himself.” 

“The merciful man does good to his own soul, but he who is cruel troubles his own flesh.”(Proverbs 11:17). By being merciful to others/Creation, we are doing good to our own souls…Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who trespass against us. “If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you.” (Mt 6:14). The bible also shows us how ungrateful we can be when God shows us mercy and we fail to extend mercy to others (Mt. 18-27 – the Parable of the unforgiving debtor). 

One of the greatest gifts that we have and which will help us to be merciful to ourselves, to others/Creation is the Eucharist, “the source and summit of Christian life” (Lumen Gentium). It will transform our lives and help us to live like Christ, strengthen our resolve to be merciful, nurture our faith, and help us to receive and show mercy. 

Formation of conscience and regular access to the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession and Penance) are important if we are to be merciful to ourselves; if we are to know what is sinful; to repent when we sin; and to renew our lives in Christ. Stop beating up yourself! 
When we repent God forgives us unconditionally, because He loves us unconditionally! ” (1 Jn 1:8-9). 

Prayer helps us to be merciful to ourselves. It helps us to surrender ourselves to God’s mercy and to place all our trust in Him. Only a close encounter with Christ will enable us to be merciful to ourselves. Let go and let God! 

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