By Leela Ramdeen, Chair, CCSJ & Director, CREDI
“Every family needs a father, a father who shares in his family’s joy and pain, hands down wisdom to his children and offers them firm guidance and love” (Pope Francis).
Today, as we celebrate Father’s Day, let’s resolve to create conditions in our communities/society that will enable fathers to meet their responsibilities—to themselves, their families, and the wider community/nation.
Fathers play a key role in nation-building. French thinker Ernest Renan in his book, What Is A Nation?, rightly says: “The soil provides substratum, the field for struggle and labour: man/woman provides the soul. Man/woman is everything in the formation of this sacred thing that we call a people. Nothing that is material suffices here. A nation is a spiritual principle, the result of the intricate workings of history, a spiritual family and not groups determined by the configuration of the earth.”
Territory alone cannot make a nation; it is people that make a nation. We must nurture our people/families to be responsible citizens with character who will put their shoulders to the proverbial wheel to build our nation.
Fathers come in all forms and they face many challenges/stressors in today’s world. Let’s encourage/support/’big-up’ not only dedicated, caring, loving fathers, but also those who are struggling to meet their responsibilities.
I remember how I wept when I was typing my father’s autobiography as he dictated it to me in his final weeks before his death. He had been writing it for some time before he died, but I had the honour of recording his final chapters. Inter alia, he said: “The greatest achievement in my life is my Family.”
At this time when the world is focusing on the scourge of racism, I must say that the experiences of both my parents strengthened us, their children, to stand strong in the face of racism.
Growing up in a family in which my parents were from different ethnic backgrounds, meant having to face the barbs of racism constantly. However, I thank God that my Catholic mother and Hindu father nurtured in us the belief that each human person is of equal worth in the eyes of God.
‘Pa’ was a pillar of strength to us. I recall one day when we lived in Chaguanas, our housekeeper returned from the market and said that she nearly threw some potatoes at a vendor who had called out to her loudly: “Ent you working for the Ramdeens? Ah hear Ramdeen has 7 n***** children and he give all ah dem Indian names.”
Pa urged her not to respond to such racism with violence, but to state simply: “Keep your racist views to yourself” and walk on.
Never underestimate the role that a father can and should play in the intellectual, social, emotional and psychological development of their children—setting examples of ethical/moral behaviour and consistency of values and virtues, communicating LOVE.
I commend the work of organisations such as the Single Fathers’ Association of T&T, that support not only single fathers who are struggling to raise their children on their own, but also single fathers who are not living in the same house as their children, but who wish to be present in their children’s lives. Catholic News reported on March 22, 2019 that “The launch of the National Catholic Men’s Ministry (NCMM) does not indicate that men will now ‘take over’ or suggest unhappiness with the women who have taken the ‘strain’ of church for many years. Rather, according to Archbishop Jason Gordon, the diocesan movement is symbolic of the Church calling forth the ‘incredible strength’ of men like St Joseph—men who are just and honourable, men of God and protectors of family life.”
Remember though, that the task of nurturing our males to be “good” fathers, must be embraced by men and women. All our Church ministries should be concerned to build “right relationships.”
Archbishop’s homily at the recent Pentecost Vigil should spur us to action: “We are on mission today to bring about a renewal of our families, Church, civilisation and this is the mission of the Church.”
Our mission must embrace a vision for fathers also. Too often the media focus on negative news about fathers, e.g., referring to ‘dead-beat dads’, ‘negligent fathers’ etc.
Our vision must be based on our Church’s teaching about God, our Father, and draw on scriptural role models such as Jesus’ earthly father, St Joseph. Read Pope Francis’ Amoris Laetitia (The Joy of Love): On Love in the Family (particularly paragraphs 172–177). Time to stand up for fathers!
